


The Blinding Fire Of Life

by sillyboyblue



Category: Blade Runner (1982)
Genre: Canon, Character Study, Gen, Metaphors, Rick Deckard thinks about it, Roy Batty is dead, allusions to fire and candles, originally longer and written as m/m so you can imagine it that way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-20 14:54:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6012691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sillyboyblue/pseuds/sillyboyblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick Deckard reflects on Roy Batty's death for a brief moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Blinding Fire Of Life

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Blade Runner, it belongs to Philip K Dick and Ridley Scott.
> 
> This is my first Blade Runner fanfiction. It has not been beta-read and English is not my first language. Please point out to me possible mistakes and incoherences so I can correct them.

It took him a minute to realize he was dead. 

One moment he was speaking of fascinating wonders, and the other he was gone. 

What exactly happened to him ? 

Like a candle, he had burned bright : brighter than he should have, and then the wick ran out and the flame turned into thin curls of smoke. 

How calm and accepting of death he was. Him who had fought so much, dedicated his life to defeat death, had in the end accepted it as inevitable and let it take him in its cold embrace. 

Zhora had fought, Leon had fought, Pris had fought, and Rachael probably would. But Roy simply sat there, spoke a few, yet beautiful words about being conscious of his own mortality and aware of what it involved, in the most peaceful way. How unusual, this ability to be so detached when speaking about such grave subjects.

In this moment Deckard believed he saw something he had never seen in a human. Following the logic of the events, he should have been the one to die, not Roy. He was grateful not to be dead but he felt nothing positive about Roy's death. He should have been relieved, he could not be. Roy had saved his life before his own ran out. And Deckard would never know why. He never really knew much about himself or his life at all anyway. He did not live in fear, but in ignorance. He hated this shitty job. It was too hard to cope with the killing - or retiring, same thing -. He hated this situation, always feeling like an outcast, never appreciated for more than his skills. He never asked for this recognition. If only people would see him as a person and not that secret weapon to pull out when there are no options left. He could see himself as their last hope, or their best weapon. Either way he wasn't treated the way he imagined he should. 

But in this moment he didn't feel like once more he would be involved in something he did not even understand. He was free, he could run away from this life. 

At what cost. He would have to hide forever. He would become like the replicants he hunted down. He wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation. An ugly and bitter sound escaped his lips.

He would become like Roy.

Roy was not afraid of anything but death, and it was when he was faced with it that he realized he had nothing to fear. Roy had a fire burning inside of him. The darkness of eternity against the blinding light of life, and it was death that could have feared him.

But death was careless in its choosing, and sinner or saint, it took every soul. His body and his mind had stopped functioning. He was gone, and everything was dark without his flame.


End file.
